March 25th, 2003 (9.00 PM)
It's still lovely to be the in-love person, though...

Love is a sincerity.
When the manipulation starts to take a role in it, love turns to a game;
which has the winner and the loser, need the tactics and the tricks.
If this love judged as a game, then.
I'll be the winner.

I've told my best friend about his ex-boyfriend and shut off the misunderstoods. Ha ha, we've been fooled around~ Maybe God was examining our true-relationship. Things like 'friend's forever', ya know. Yeah, we passed it good, whereas a little crack happened because of this. But still, the cracked one has been cured. 

Maybe this kind of problem will be appear one day, sooner or later. And the fact is, it happened sooner--by the medium called 'boy', ha ha. It was a kind of joke in life, Dody said. 

I called him this afternoon, and told him about this situation. His opinion is still like usual: Laugh out loud and make fun of me (joking about the number of the admirers, still) before he take it seriously and give a joke-way opinion. Well, that's him. He wants me to cut his long curly hair and accompany him to do the sport. Running in Senayan, maybe. Yeah~, it's been about 10 months since our last meeting. Kind of long period, though... A baby could born within those time!

March 25th, 2003 (9.30 AM)
 Yo, world!

It's almost a week since Bush declared the war to Saddam Husein. Well, still disagree about the aggression -- somehow. It's not a good thing to be discussed all time: politics. Actually, deep down inside, I'm a kind of person that had a strong opinion about things happened around me (social politic topics.red). But still, not in the mood to talk about politic now. It must be spend hours just for typing my thoughts. Ha ha ha. Well, again, civil peoples are always the victims, in all war. My sincere prayers to those who felt suffer because of the aggressions (hope it matter, he eh). So yes, every man  is the wolf for his own kind -- the other human. 

I'll have a chemistry exam this afternoon. Hate it a lot.

Something happened last night, finally, my best friend knew the real situation about her ex-boyfriend. It's a good news, actually. The bad is, she knew it not from me. I wanna tell her what's happen, that his ex was in love with me, but the faith is always fell down when I see her innocent face. I don't wanna erase the happiness from her face.

--So yes I'm an idiot.

I can't imagine what is 'me' in her opinion now. i wish I could tell her once again that I loved her and didn't mean to hide things behind her back. I just don't wanna see her sad -- or even feeling wounded. There were several times whether I count the events when he confess his feelings to me before I rejected his love to me and killing my own feelings each time. I just don't wanna hurt her. I wish I could tell her the reasons, how difficult was my situation. The truth is, somehow, a tuna thief is somewhat more often be a victim that the real victim itself. No one could run from the people's judgment, worried or guilty feelings deep down inside. And yes, those are the  greater punishments someway.

March 24th, 2003 (late night)
I took a quiz at TheSpark.com, look who I am! 

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 March 24th, 2003
Dear spaces, long time no see!

I'm moving my site to http://sasqou.tripod.com, also my blogs. Thank God, it's finished. Well, I'm kinda tired of uploading the things one by one, hehehe.
Well, today was A day. I got a date after-school, and it was nice. He's a kind one, someways. I felt like a dork when he was more in-control than me. Well, I was blushed, etc, things like that. Tomorrow he'll go to Bandung for two days, and the bad is, the 'goodbye-see-you-again' part wasn't that good. Anyway, yesterday He gave me a cute-white sheep doll as the 2 months since we 1st met celebration...

Yesterday Irawan and Novan came to my house. We discussed about the project. They want to made a shirt brand of our own... Well, kinda love it. I AM needing a backups. It named "3 Boys and A Girl". Cool name for a brand, though. This project is a through line from what we talked about on Saturday at  Town Square with Yosie and Nadia. That's saturday WAS a great evening! We moved around Town Square, chitchat at Starbucks (the modal was just about Rp 30,000-- but it was about 2 hours we sat there ^^;;;, eat at A & W, and play things in Time Zone Game Centre 'till 11 PM.
Anyway, Irawan is a really good artist! I've rarely found someone that I could share an artwork to be finished together. With him, I can! We're match each other in the sense of works... he said so too. Too bad he's living in North Jakarta, that means we couldn't met everyday. *sigh*. He's also a man that had my photo in his wallet, as his first girl-photo in his wallet. Well~~ it's my pleasure, joe. ^^

It's been some weeks since Adrian went to USA, and Tias to London. Maybe they'll live there forever. I dunno, I missed them many ways. I loved them.

March 13rd, 2003
Yo Blankies!

Quote: Whatever happens in your life is just gonna make you stronger, except you die. 
Thx Dad, Mom, Elang, Eros. Grand grandma, Auntie Cie' (all homers). Thx to friends for being one of His greatest gift. True friendship will NEVER has a good ending; it simply never ends.  Let time tell, though.

It's been 4 days since the last time I filled the space. Many things happened in that short period of time. Geez, life's actually running! I've finished the draft of SkyFest's PopCycle poster (my school's music party, will be held on next July). Gosh, I really love to drawing things! I found it pleasuring and challenging. It's always fun to waste the time by wasting the ink in a somewhat paper to draw somewhat pops in my mind. 

Well, I've been such a sentimental-in-love girl in last week. Love is in the air, huh. However, it's always lovely to be a fool for love, ha ha ha. Ya know, I've been called via mobile phone for 45 hours since 2 weeks ago (data from the 'recieved calls duration' statistic in my Nokia). Yes, many sweet things did happened, since the last time I wrote these things. Today I watched a movie titled "When Harry Met Sally", starred by Meg Ryan, a romance-comedy kind of drama story. Good movie for lovers! (Believe me, I'm not that girly before; although it's, still, always lovely to be a fool for love.) 

March 9th, 2003
What a day~!

I got the not-so-bad rank in Basic Ability Test for SPMB simulation. It was better than my thought before ^^;;. I did the IPA Exam for SPMB simulation this morning, started 8 AM and finished at 10.30 AM, at Labschool Rawamangun. I met Dian after some days, and she told me about her relationship with Tampol. Wish you two the best, ok. 

Jakarta~, my truly lovely city. Indonesia, my only country. I'll have my right to choose in next PEMILU on 2004--for the first time. Dad still a campaign person for a politic organization, though. Well, Dad. I'm always proud of you. You do your idealism (a hobby?) surely, while you're raising your family in the best way.  I know you're never runs out of the obstacles. You're the tough one... Not every person could do it, Dad!

Well, he pick me up from Labschool Rawamangun at 11.30 AM. Yes, I'm about to date with someone I love! We went to Planetarium (stars, planets, galaxies, with someone you love; I found it romantic!), but too bad, we couldn't see the film because of it's schedule. So, we went to Taman Ria Senayan and did the fun things! Roller coaster, giant wheel (Jakarta's view from bird's eyes? So damn refreshing!), and bum bum car (I met Ucok here. He's a funny kid~ Hope we'll meet again one day). It's a cute thing to see a little jealousy, just because a good-looking ticketing guy stared at me most of the time (Because I'm weird and an alien? I don't have any idea about the reason, hahaha). After that, we went to a movie and dinner at a street food stall in Bintaro (Rp. 13,500 for fried rice, fried noodle, and 4 glasses of ice tea.) 

 
March 8th 2003 (the evening)
GOD is really had a damn great sense of humor!

Yes, it IS. HE's really had a great sense of humor. HE could make me feels like hell and then turns it out to heaven at the time. When I was in the love-sick with D*dy some months ago (well, I was in love with him, sincerely, truly from my heart) and had an unsolved dilemma in my mind because of our age distant (about 12 years distant) and our difference in faith, I always pray to HIM to give me the solution and clearing my eyes. Please open my mind so I can realize that there is no future to me when I get engaged with him except I changed my faith. And hell, no. Maybe I'm a little bit an adventuring person, but I don't want to play around with that one. And it never be. And so on, I was praying every occasion to HIM. Please open my mind, I said. Please make me realize that he's not the only man in this world. Please guide me, cure me from this love-sickness. I know I've been a big dilemma to D*dy's mind too. Give me another one. I'm not begging for two or more, just one. A man for me. As a result, I was feeling tired of having relationships. ...but not so long after that, BOMB! BUNCH of great men appeared at the same time! I'm confuse and don't know what must I do. I'm not begging for two or more, God. I just need a man that truly for me. I'm tired of love-sickness. God, what's on your mind? ...

I laughed at myself for all of those silliness. When I was searching for a right guy, there's no one appear. And then, when I was totally tired and feel like "please, Enough!", attractive guys come out. What a joke! O yeah, I'd like to thank to all my friends for being around until now. Your presence give me bunch of a unique way of support. It means a lot for me. Really.

Tonight Bogiey will come to my house, to have some chit chat choe with me. Also Novan and Yosie Adit,maybe. Waou, what on earth is happening? This will be a fun reunion! 

. . . more

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